When you spend years adapting to what others expect, it is easy to lose touch with who you truly are. Wearing masks and pleasing people can keep you safe for a while, but eventually it leaves you exhausted. Therapy offers a quiet space to explore dropping the performance and connecting with your genuine self.
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In person-centred therapy, Carl Rogers introduced the idea of conditions of worth: the implicit lessons we learn growing up that we are only acceptable when we behave, succeed, or feel a certain way. To maintain love and approval, we construct protective masks, adapting our behaviour to satisfy external expectations while burying our true desires.
While people-pleasing and mask-wearing begin as sensible survival strategies, they come at a heavy cost over time. You might find yourself feeling disconnected from your own opinions, uncertain of your boundaries, or deeply exhausted by everyday interactions. Recognising these learned protective patterns can be a meaningful step toward understanding your authentic identity.
My approach rests on core person-centred principles: empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard. In our sessions, there are no expectations to perform or fulfil a role. For those exploring gender or sexuality, my practice is LGBTQ+ affirming, rooted in lived experience as a gay man where there is no need to educate your therapist.
We also integrate body awareness to notice how self-suppression manifests physically. You might notice a constricted throat when holding back your truth, or tightness in the stomach when saying yes to something you dislike. Somatic tracking can support you in tuning in to these body signals, offering a way to anchor self-acceptance in felt experience rather than abstract ideas.
Learning to trust your internal compass takes time, especially if you have spent years prioritising the needs of those around you. In our work together, we go at your pace, offering steady support as you explore what feels true to you without fear of judgement.
Sessions take place online across the UK and Ireland, lasting 50 minutes at a fee of £90. If your identity struggles are accompanied by persistent self-criticism, you may also wish to visit my dedicated page on therapy for shame and low self-esteem or learn more about my specialised LGBTQ+ affirming therapy service.
Taking off a mask and allowing yourself to be genuinely seen can feel daunting. To help you take that step comfortably, I offer a free 20-minute introductory call. This brief online conversation gives us a chance to connect, discuss your goals, and see if working together feels right for you.
I am an MSc-qualified therapist and an accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP Accred), with eight years of experience. Online sessions are £90 for 50 minutes across the UK and Ireland, beginning with a free 20-minute initial consultation. I accept the following insurance providers:
My practice is registered with major health insurance providers including Aviva, AXA, Bupa, Healix, and Vitality. I also dedicate part of my working week to serving directly as a Bupa therapist. If you plan to use private healthcare cover, we can easily discuss your claim authorisation during your free introductory consultation.
Conditions of worth refer to the beliefs we internalise that we are only worthy of love or respect when meeting certain criteria, such as pleasing others. Therapy offers room to notice and gently unpack these unspoken rules, supporting a shift toward greater self-acceptance.
No. While I bring lived experience as a gay therapist and offer LGBTQ+ affirming care, identity work is for anyone who feels disconnected from themselves, struggles with people-pleasing, or feels trapped in social roles. I work with adult clients from all backgrounds across the UK.
People-pleasing is often a habitual way to secure safety and approval. In therapy, we explore the feelings that arise when setting boundaries. By exploring somatic grounding and self-compassion, you can practice honouring your own needs with less fear of rejection.
If you are ready to explore people-pleasing patterns and connect with your authentic self, I invite you to book a free 20 minute intro call today.
Book a free 20-minute call with Peter